Lines of Crimson Regret

Flist Meme from awmp

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 02:34:06 GMT

I know very little about some of the people on my friends list. Some people I know relatively well. I read your journals, and you update regularly and in detail. Some of you I hardly know at all - maybe just that you write excellent Spuffy. Perhaps you lurk, for whatever reason. But you friended me and I thank you for your interest in my words.

But here's a thought: why not take this opportunity to tell me a little something about yourself. Any old thing at all. Just so the next time I see your name I can say: "Ah, there's so and so...they listen in rapture to the love-music of she-turnips." (Think of it as your Christmas present to me! lol)

I'd love it if every single person who friended me would do this. Yes, even you people who comment all the time. Then post this in your own journal and see what gems of knowledge appear.

BtVS Xmas Wallpapers...

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 02:39:03 GMT

These are my last contribution to spuffy_haven's Spuffy Solstice. I'm hoping to have a ficlet done somtime later this month for someone, so be on the look out. :)

Usual rules apply:
*No hotlinking.
*Don't claim as your own.
*Comment and credit please!

4 Wallpapers:
[2] Spike/Buffy
[2] Spike

Teaser:

[| 800X600 |] [| 1024X768 |]

[| 800X600 |] [| 1024X768 |]

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BtVS Xmas Banners/Icons...

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 01:16:12 GMT

Here's my first contribution to spuffy_haven's Spuffy Solstice. Another post to follow later.

Usual rules apply:
*No hotlinking.
*Don't claim as your own.
*Comment and credit please!

5 Banners/Icons:
[2] Spike/Buffy
[2] Spike
[1] Buffy

Teaser:

Full View

Full View

Full View

Full View

Full View

hugs computer

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 03:44:05 GMT

I'm back! Or at least back with internet.

The move was pretty easy, although the car ride was really long. I've gotten everything taken care of for the most part.

I've just started looking through the flist and there's a million entries to read! Geez, sometimes I say it's too slow on here and then I leave and everyone posts. So I will be skimming. If I missed anything important, just let me know.

*hugs flist*

Leaving...

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 18:53:33 GMT

As some of you may have noticed, I'm leaving tonight for California. Already got the car all packed. ~~And geez, do I have soo much stuff!~~

Anywho, not sure when I'll have internet again. We already have a plan to solve that problem, but you know how well those things goes. ;) Hopefully it will just be a few days and I'll be back around before you know it.

I'll respond to all the great comments on the BtVS and JM icons when I get back.

*hugs flist*

PS - If anything major/exciting/you-just-have-to-tell-me happens, feel free to leave a comment here. =)

BtVS and JM icons

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 02:39:53 GMT

This is my icon post before I move, which will be tomorrow. Not sure when I'll have internet again, but hopefully it will be soon.

Usual rules apply:
*No hotlinking.
*Don't claim as your own.
*Comment and credit please!

36 Icons:
[16] Spike/Buffy - submission for past contests at spuffystillness
[20] James Marsters - pictures taken by the lovely copykween.

Teaser:

01) 02) 03) 04)

05) 06) 07) 07)

09) 10) 11) 12)

13) 14) 15) 16)

17) 18) 19) 20)

21) 22) 23) 24)

25) 26) 27) 28)

29) 30) 31) 32)

33) 34) 35) 36)

Graphic resources in my user info

Just Pretending... - Chapter 8

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 21:27:49 GMT

Does anyone even remember this fic? I hope so!

Sorry it took so long to get this one out. First I had problems with my muse and then both my betas had been gone at different times, not that it's their fault, but I wouldn't feel right without them working on this. But it's here now. Hope you all enjoy. As always, any and all feedback is appreciated. :)

Title: Just Pretending…
Author: BloodyTearsOfLife
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the Joss, he just let’s me play with them.
Summary: A visit from the social workers and Dawn’s created a nice mess for Buffy to clean up, with the help of Spike of course. Takes place before ‘Tough Love’.

A/N: Thanks to copykween for doing a readover and to arieldawn for helping with my grammar issues.

[|All Chapters|] [|Previous Chapter|]

Chapter 8: A Bit More Complicated...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Xander!” Anya exclaimed, dropping to her knees next to her boyfriend’s prone body. “I swear Buffy, if anything is broken you’re going to pay for it. Do you know how expensive hospital visits are?”

“I’ll go fetch the smelling salts,” Giles said, moving towards the back room. “And a glass of scotch,” he added under his breath.

“Well Mrs. Thornhill, I must apologize. I didn’t realize my statement was going to cause such a reaction,” the woman said, although she didn’t sound anywhere near sincere. Her thin lips were pressed together and a look of amusement in her eyes as she looked up at the Slayer, which was odd for Buffy. The woman’s long gray-slated skirt made her seem even shorter, the flat black polished shoes she wore did nothing for her height either.

“And you are?” Spike prompted. A quick sniff told him she wasn’t a demon. He could still smell the starch from the crisp ironed lines of her perfectly matching suit top and the hairspray from her painfully tight pulled back bun.

“Ah, Mr. Thornhill I presume?” she stated, looking over the edge of her glasses but didn’t wait for an answer. “I am Doris Kruger, from Child Protection Services. I’ve been assigned to Dawn’s case. They felt she needed special attention and I’m beginning to see why,” she finished, her eyes roaming around the room.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Buffy said lamely at the woman’s disapproving frown. “I uh, I can explain?” she added with a hopeful look.

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Doris responded as she began to write on her clipboard.

“What, what are you writing?” Buffy moved closer and tried to peer over the edge of the clipboard but not having much luck.

Doris made one last note, then pulled the board close to her body and rummaged through her purse. Finally she produced two white business cards and extended one towards Dawn and the other towards Buffy.

“Here is my card, with my direct extension. Mr. and Mrs. Thornhill, I’ll be expecting a call from you soon so we can set up a house visit. Dawn, you give me a call if you need anything. Wouldn’t want you to suffer,” Doris added with a pat to Dawn’s arm. “We’ll be in touch,” she promised towards Spike and Buffy before turning on her heel and walking out the shop door, everyone staring blankly after her.

The shop was quiet as everyone tried to process just what happened. Buffy herself was looking for the closet exit. She had never planned on letting the group find out. This really was a nightmare.

“I think I’d like to hear that explanation now,” Giles demanded of Buffy as he came in from the back, a glass of amber liquid in his hand.

“Giles? Are you drinking again?”

“Nonsense. Just a bit to tide me over. Now don’t change the subject, Mrs. Thornhill,” he said, emphasizing her name, sitting down heavily in a chair. “I think we’re all waiting.”

Buffy bit her lip, looking from Giles to Willow and found the red head looking just as expectant, a look of disbelief and betrayal in her eyes. Meanwhile, Tara was doing her best avoiding her eyes and Anya was still trying to rouse Xander. She could feel Spike and Dawn step closer to her, lending their support, Dawn grabbing onto her hand and giving it a squeeze.

The world really hated her.

“Giles, where’s the sniffy salts?” Anya inquired, breaking Buffy from her self pity.

“Oh, for heaven’s sakes,” he mumbled, tipping his glass and splashing Xander’s face with some alcohol.

Xander came to with a sputter, shaking his head like a dog.

“Why is it raining…alcohol?” he asked with a grimace, wiping it away with the sleeve of his sweater. “Anya?” Xander side whispered.

“Yes?”

“Am I dreaming?”

“No, because if you were there’d be less of them here and more of us--”

Xander cut her off by placing his hand over her mouth, Anya glaring at him.

“Okay,” he agreed. “Not dreaming. I just had a moment of mild hallucination, in which I thought I heard someone say Buffy was married to Spike. Which, ha ha, very funny, because why would I think of Buffy being married to Spike?”

“You’re doing that weird thinking out loud thing where I’m not sure if I should respond back or not,” Anya replied with a frown.

The fog around his head quickly cleared and he sat up with a start, peering over the edge of the table at Buffy, his eyes thinning to slits when he saw how close Spike was.

“Okay, okay, prank over. Ha ha. You pulled a good one. Now where’s the camera?” he asked as he stood, pulling Anya up with him.

“Isn’t there a hole I can crawl into now?” Buffy asked Spike quietly, feeling everyone’s eyes on her.

“Could always cause a distraction while you slip out the back,” Spike whispered back with a smirk.

“No! No! No whispery stuff!” Xander demanded. “Willow! I thought we said no more magic stuff.”

Willow looked stricken, her lower lip quivering in anger. “I haven’t! Ask Tara. I haven’t done anything except the spells on Glory.”

“Xander, Willow had nothing to do with this,” Buffy spoke up, coming to the defense of her friend.

“So no Willow. Tara then?” he suggested, Willow glaring at him.

“Xander, do shut up,” Giles ordered, his eyes never leaving Buffy. “Well then,” he prompted as the group fell silent again.

“I uh… You see… It’s…” Buffy felt her mouth dry up, her throat felt like sandpaper as she swallowed. This was worse than facing a nest of vampires on her own. In fact, she’d rather face a horde of vampires than explain to the group the situation, especially knowing how they were going to react.

“It’s my fault,” Dawn and Spike said at the same time when Buffy continued to remain silent.

The room exploded into sound, both Giles and Xander roaring into tirades about Spike, while the girls rushed to reassure Dawn it wasn’t her fault.

“Stop! Stop it!” Dawn screamed, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “It is my fault.”

“No, it’s not, Bit,” Spike argued, moving around Buffy to stand by her.

“Yes it is! If I wasn’t here, none of this would be happening. There would be no Glory after us and you two wouldn’t be pretending.”

“What do you mean Dawnie?” Willow asked softly.

“Buffy and Spike are pretending to be together so I won’t get taken away,” she confessed in a small voice.

“So you shacked up with Spike? Oh yeah, that’s a brilliant idea,” Xander criticized.

“I didn’t shack up with Spike,” Buffy hissed back.

“Oh? Then what would you prefer I call it? Hitched? Tied the knot? Kiss of death?”

“Hey! I didn’t plan this,” the Slayer argued.

“You didn’t? Well gee, who would have guessed? If you didn’t plan it, then how did you come to… marry the blonde wonder?” Xander questioned with disgust.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s done and over with,” Buffy answered, giving Dawn her best ‘it’s going to be okay’ smile.

“And to correct you whelp, it’s more like I’m shackin’ up with the Slayer,” Spike added, smirking, thumbs hooked into the belt loops of his jeans.

Buffy turned and smacked him on the arm.

“So not helping.”

“Please do NOT tell me that means what I think it means,” Xander said, staring at Buffy.

“Spike’s moving in with us? Yay!” Dawn cried, hugging the vampire, her tears from earlier vanishing.

“Are you out of your mind?” Giles yelled at Buffy. “Not only have you tied yourself to a vampire, you’re also letting him live with you? I don’t understand how you could allow such a thing. If your mother were here--”

“Yeah, well she’s not Giles! She’s gone and I can’t lose the last member of my family!” Buffy exploded. “I just lost Mom, I can’t lose Dawn too.”

The mention of Joyce and her recent death was like a slap to the entire group, sobering them up, the severity of the situation finally settling in .

“I apologize, I didn’t mean…” Giles began quietly.

Buffy nodded her head in understanding, afraid to open her mouth and what would come out. Instead, she let Dawn curl into her side, the thought of their mother still difficult for the both of them.

“Buffy, we’re your family too,” Willow gently reminded.

“I know,” Buffy acknowledged. “But Dawn’s my sister. I just can’t lose her, not to Glory and definitely not to CPS.”

“I hate to ask the stupid question, but how does CPS fit into all this?” Xander asked.

“If they see Buffy as an unfit guardian, they will take Dawn away,” Giles supplied.

“Okay. Still doesn’t explain how Spike got into the mix or why.”

Buffy held up her hand and then pointed at Dawn. “That would be Dawn’s doing. She’s the one that told them Spike and I were married. Blame Dawn.”

“Oh, thanks a lot!” Dawn complained as all eyes turned on her.

“While I still don’t approve of it, I do understand why you are doing it,” Giles said with a sigh, draining the last of the alcohol in his glass, and from the looks of it, wishing the cup would magically refill itself.

With Giles’ blessing of sorts, the others seemed to grudgingly accept that it wasn’t something they were going to be able to change, though Xander still looked like he might put up a fight.

“I still don’t see what help Spike is going to be,” he argued.

“The plan is that if we present a united family, they’ll see that Dawn’s okay and leave us alone,” Buffy explained.

“Oh yeah, because Spike is such a family guy,” Xander commented with a roll of his eyes.

“Like you’re one to talk,” Spike tossed back. “I’ve stayed at your house, and I do remember your daddy dearest…”

Xander was up and across the room, fist raised, ready to throw a punch at Spike’s words. Spike stood waiting for the blow and when he didn’t feel it, he looked up to see that Buffy had intervened, grabbing Xander’s wrist and placing her free hand on his chest to stop his advance.

“No,” was all she simply said, holding onto him until the tension fled from his body. Carefully, she released his wrist but Xander continued to glare at her.

“Buffy--”

“Xander, please. For this plan to work, I need Spike,” she pleaded.

“Wait wait, you can’t honestly tell me you want Spike around,” he said in outrage.

“Of course I don’t want Spike,” Buffy sputtered. She heard a low growl from her left and turned to see Spike heading towards the stock room. The door slammed behind him and Dawn scoffed at her, arms crossed over her chest.

“And you call him the soulless one,” she sneered before running after Spike.

The door closed with a bang only to open two seconds later.

“And you know what else? Mom liked Spike a whole lot more than she ever liked Angel,” Dawn added, again turning back to the door and slamming it close, the wood giving a groan.

Buffy couldn’t argue against that, not after what she’d found out about the art gallery.

“And Buffy,” Anya began, “if there’s any damage to that door, you’re paying for that too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Spike! Spike! Wait up!” Dawn yelled into the dark tunnel, trying her hardest to stay out of the bad smelling puddles. Her shoes were nice enough and she’d seen the disaster that was Buffy’s shoes after an adventure down here; no way was she letting that happen to her precious shoes.

“Nibblet, what in the bloody hell are you doing?” Spike growled from up ahead.

“Coming after you, you big dummy,” Dawn answered as she jumped over another puddle.

“You should just turn around and go back. Slayer will be worried about you,” he said as he waited for her to catch up. He couldn’t leave her on her own down here, who knew what kind of trouble she’d get into.

“She can worry then. She deserves it.”

“Not arguing with you there,” Spike mumbled.

“So where we headed?” Dawn asked after they’d been walking for a few moments, or more like Spike was walking normally and she was doing her best not to fall on her butt. The slick, wet surfaces weren’t helping at all as she slipped again, trying to avoid another deep puddle. Her recent stumble had Spike looking back at her, shaking his head.

“Come here you. Can’t have you falling and breakin’ something and with me being the one to blame,” Spike said, clasping her arm loosely in his.

“So…” Dawn began. “Where we going?”

“We aren’t going anywhere. I’m heading to my crypt after I drop you off at home.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

“Too bad, ‘cause that’s where you’re going.”

There was silence for a moment, Dawn doing her best to think of a good excuse for him not to leave her.

“But you can’t, you can’t leave me there,” Dawn finally argued, a look of triumph on her face, knowing she’d outsmarted him.

“And why not?” he questioned, eyebrow raised at her.

“Because you can’t leave me by myself. What if Glory shows up or something?”

Spike scowled, letting out a small growl. Damn if these Summers women didn’t know how to bend him over backwards.

“Fine then, you can come with me, ‘cause I’m not going back to your house.”

“But you have to! You said you were moving in,” Dawn whined, tugging on Spike’s arm.

“Nibs, things are a bit more complicated than you’d think,” he answered.

“Why? Can’t everything just be simple?” she suggested, her head tilted in a gestured not unlike his own. “It’s so much simpler.”

Spike couldn’t help but smile as his words came back to him from her mouth. This was probably the reason he liked Dawn so much. She understood so much more than the others gave her credit for, even if it was unknowingly. The way she trusted him blindly warmed him more than he’d ever admit. If Buffy was going to be a bitch about things, he wasn’t about to let Dawn pay for that. She raised an instinct in him that he hadn’t felt for a very long time, not since he was human and someone not unlike her had depended on him.

“Alright, how ‘bout we swing by Willy’s, grab some boxes to pack up my stuff with and head back to the crypt?”

“Only if you promise to tell me more scary stories on the way,” she negotiated.

He gave her his patented smirk.

“Deal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike usually didn’t have moral scruples about things, but this might have been a bad idea. Many of his personal possessions were not appropriate for Dawn’s virgin eyes and he had to think quick to steer her away from areas that he knew would cause high amounts of awkwardness.

“But Spike, we can’t just leave all your stuff here,” Dawn tried arguing with him as he pulled her away from yet another area.

“Don’t worry about it. Just need to take the necessities. Not like I’m never coming back,” he placated.

“Not if I have my way,” Dawn mumbled, scowling, sitting down on the chest they had just emptied. He supposed it should have been pathetic, how what he needed barely fit into a box or two, if he wasn’t undead that is. Most vamps didn’t tie themselves down with too many earthly belongings.

Spike was pulled from his musings as he heard the sound of the crypt door above them quietly opening, the noise loud enough to reach his ears but not Dawn’s. He looked up at the floor, as if it would reveal who it was.

“Bit, stay put. Something’s upstairs,” he warned, looking back to see Dawn’s eyes wide. “If someone starts to come down and I don’t yell it’s me, I want you to run for the sewers. You got that?”

Dawn gave a tiny nod and he could hear her heart thumping away in her chest in fright.

Spike gave her a look that he hoped would reassure her and then immediately scowled at his behavior. There was a difference between looking out for her and being a complete ponce.

Shaking his head, he began climbing up to the ladder, stealthily lifting up the hole covering and snaking out, putting the cover back in place. Staying crouched down, he was assaulted from the side, rolling with the blow to finally surface with a tiny blonde astride him. He couldn’t help but note how familiar this position was becoming.

“Spike?” she questioned, fists still raised.

“No. It’s Casper, the bloody ghost.”

“What are you doing?”

“What did it look like I’m doing? Was checking who was in my crypt,” he answered curtly.

“No, what were you doing down there? Is there another level?” she asked, turning her head to look at the trapdoor.

“What’s it to you?” Spike asked, slitting his eyes at her. Slayer had never shown an interest in anything about him before. That in turn made Buffy suspicious and she stared down at him.

“Tell me.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to know.”

Spike gave a short bark of laughter at that. “Right, because the Slayer wants to know. Funny, I remember said Slayer saying she wanted nothing to do with me,” he fired back, bitterness in his voice.

Now it was her turn to back down, but only just a little. The resentment in his tone cut her to the quick. He stayed still, waiting for her to say something, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I… I…”

“I what?” he prompted. “Cat got your tongue? Or maybe your head’s too far up your--”

She went to hit him then, Spike’s reflexes the only thing coming between stopping her and a broken nose.

“You are such a--” she started, a sneer on her face, but Spike cut her off.

“Bastard? Asshole? Heard them all, doesn’t change a thing. Is it really that hard to admit?”

“Admit what?” Buffy repeated, his question throwing her off.

“Admit that you need me. That you want me,” he answered in a way that the answer should have been obvious. Buffy felt a lump in her throat at the expression on his face, such open yearning for her.

“I was… what I said was wrong.”

The words had barely left her mouth before Spike was kissing her. She gasped in shock and Spike took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, Buffy responding back to the kiss, her hands gripping onto the collar of his leather jacket. His kisses burned her from the inside out, the cold crypt suddenly becoming uncomfortably hot. Withstanding the blazing heat as long as she had breath for, she finally pulled back gasping for breath.

“Wait two seconds,” she breathed. “Where’s Dawn?”

Dawn popped her head up from under the trapdoor, a smile glittering her face.

“Present and accounted for!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tbc…

Fandom Meme

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 06:43:24 GMT

Stolen from alwaysjbj:

Comment to this post with an offer to write in any fandom that you and I have in common. I will answer with a prompt. Then, you will write me comment-fic, snippets, or whatever comes to mind. Now go post this in your own journal and demand fic of your very own! Make your flist work! You had a long week and you DESERVE it, dammit!

Supernatural Icons - Set 1

Thu, 31 May 2007 23:45:04 GMT

Photoshop has been my friend. I come with pretties.

24 Supernatural Icons
Episodes: Pilot & Wendigo

*No hotlinking.
*Don't claim as your own.
*Comment & Credit - (I'll love you forever if you credit, and even more if you comment! Don't know how to credit? Check the end of the post.)
*Do not edit anything. - (If you'd like something personalize, just drop me a comment.)

Teaser:

01) 02) 03) 04)

05) 06) 07) 08)

09) 10) 11) 12)

13) 14) 15) 16)

17) 18) 19) 20)

21) 22) 23) 24)

Graphic Resources in my user info. Screencaps done by me.

More icons will be coming soon. Hehe! And I'm not even done with the first disk!

Going Friend's Only on RL...

Thu, 31 May 2007 05:18:44 GMT

Well it seems like the right time to be doing this.

From now on, my personal posts will be friends only. This is for my sake of mind so I know who is reading my RL posts.

Everything else will be public, including fanfic and graphics.

So don't freak out that you won't be able to read my fics if I don't have you friended. This is not the case. My fics will ALWAYS be open to the public on this journal.

I will also be doing a clean up of my friends list and I will be de-friending anyone who doesn't comment on my journal anymore and vise versa. People grow apart, it's what happens. This is in no way trying to hurt/insult anyone.

If you do find yourself de-friended and don't think I should have or would like to talk about it, feel free to comment (they will be screened) or you can email me (addy is on my userinfo).

Also to those who have friended me and I have yet to friend you back is because I don't know who you are! So please take two seconds to say hey and introduce yourself. If you're just here for fic or art, please let me know.

Again, personal posts will be f-locked, everything else will be public.

Just Pretending... - Chapter 7

Tue, 08 May 2007 21:56:03 GMT

Hehe! Yes you are reading this right. I have a new chapter! Sorry it took so long. School has been majorly crazy. And now I will shut up so you can get to the good stuff. ;-)

Title: Just Pretending…
Author: BloodyTearsOfLife
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the Joss, he just let’s me play with them.
Summary: A visit from the social workers and Dawn’s created a nice mess for Buffy to clean up, with the help of Spike of course. Takes place before ‘Tough Love’.

A/N: Thanks to copykween for helping me work this chapter out when I felt it wasn’t right and to arieldawn for helping with the last name. You two are the bestest!

[|All Chapters|] [|Previous Chapter|]

Chapter 7: Keeping It Simple
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In her haste to get away from Spike, Buffy found herself missing a step and braced herself for impact. Two strong arms grabbed her before she could hit the wood steps and dragged her back down towards him. She began to struggle in earnest but Spike quickly immobilized her with his body, pressing her against the cool concrete of the basement wall.

“Let. Me. Go,” she ordered, her voice clipped, still trying to free herself of Spike’s hold.

“I don’t think so, Slayer,” Spike rasped against her ear. “Keep struggling, makes me all hot. Wigglin’ that gorgeous body of yours.”

Buffy could just imagine the expression on his face, curling his tongue at her, the smirk she wanted to smack off his face. While his words didn’t stop her fighting, the grinding of his arousal into her backside did. A low throb began at the apex of her thighs that seemed to beat in rhythm with her heart, the sensuous glide of his body against hers making it pulse and jump, her suddenly hard nipples chafing against the wall.

“Now, where were we? Oh yes, how you don’t trust yourself to keep your hands of my hot body,” he continued, still moving alongside her.

How could he think when he was doing that? She was having trouble forming a clear thought. All she wanted to do was feel. She could feel her own moisture pooling and the slow throb was becoming more urgent.

“So you don’t trust yourself?” he questioned.

“Yes, er, no. I mean…” Buffy couldn’t think, too focused on the pulse in her body that begged for release.

“Because you want me?” he prompted, with a subtle shift of his body. He’d maneuvered himself so a leg rested between hers, and he thrust it up against her core. As he felt her heat soak through his jeans, his ears caught the instinctive gasp she uttered.

“Yes, no, no,” she babbled, her hips pressing back down on the leg between hers.

“Tsk, Slayer, it’s not nice to lie,” Spike reprimanded, his voice going dangerously low. He drew one hand between her body and the wall, cupping her mound and applying the slightest of pressure. “Do you want this, kitten? Do you want me to make you feel so good?”

Buffy knew she shouldn’t. It would cross a line that she had vowed not to cross; but her body was singing to his touch and she really wasn't capable of logical thought. She just wanted to ease the tension that was filling her body. She knew there’d be consequences, but did she really care at the moment? No.

“Yes,” she whispered quietly.

“What was that, love?” Spike asked, as he nudged her hair off her neck and licked a path along it before blowing a cool stream of air across it that set her shivering.

“Yes,” Buffy repeated louder.

“Yes what?”

He wanted to hear her say it out loud, hear it from that luscious mouth of hers.

“Yes… I want you,” she finally let out on a breath.

Her pants were undone and Spike’s fingers were playing along her slit before she had time to take another breath. She was slick and he easily slid one slender finger into her, his thumb tapping on her clit in rhythm with her heart, catching her breath in her throat.

“That’s my Slayer,” Spike purred against her neck. “So hot and wet, squeezing my finger. You like this, don’t ya?”

“Y-y-yes,” Buffy sputtered. God did she.

His fingers pumped in and out of her, thumb swirling across her nubbin. Her blood pounded in her ears, eyes squeezed shut as she let Spike play her body.

“When you say you don’t trust yourself, what did you mean?” Spike questioned, even as his hand kept up a perfect tempo, his voice steady.

“What?” Buffy managed to get out.

“You said you don’t trust yourself. Did you mean with me, or did that also include the Bit?”

Buffy tried to think about it, but really, she was having trouble focusing.

“You either answer the question or I’ll stop what I’m doing,” Spike threatened.

“No!” Buffy shouted. “I mean,” she paused, again trying to make her brain function. When she had originally said it, it was because of Spike, but now that he’d put that out there… Maybe she’d also gone to Spike because she really didn’t trust herself to properly take care of Dawn. There was always that possibility that she would mess up somehow. She realized then that she counted on Spike to tell her the truth, no matter how much it hurt or upset her. He was the one person that she could always count on to tell her how it was.

“I think, maybe both,” she finally admitted.

“Slayer,” Spike started, his hand never wavering, “You know that I’d never let anything happen to Dawn, or to you. You know that. You know I’d do anything for you.”

Buffy opened her mouth to argue, only to have her words stolen from her when Spike slipped another finger inside her.

“I’ll catch you. If you fall, I’ll catch you,” Spike whispered into her ear.

Buffy knew it was true, and it scared her how much she wanted to let him catch her. She was the Slayer, she didn’t let other people catch her, she caught herself; but with Spike, she felt safe. She knew he would be there no matter what.

“Fall,” Spike commanded, curling his fingers inside and hitting that spot inside that had her screaming her release.

“Spike!” she yelled as the throb in her body exploded in a burst of heat, the world falling away and all that was tangible was Spike’s body against her back, his thumb still rubbing lazy circles on her clit, drawing out her pleasure. She couldn’t remember ever feeling more content than she did at that moment, and like Spike had said, he was there to catch her.

Spike was nuzzling at her neck, mumbling words of endearment, and she was comfortable to let him continue, until she felt the scrape of his teeth; it was enough to jar her out of her bliss and realize exactly what she had done and with whom.

Spike must have felt the tension that flooded her body, because he slowly removed his hand and stepped back, letting her turn around.

“I--” Buffy started but she couldn’t get the words out.

Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes still slightly glazed over and Spike never thought she looked more beautiful. Beyond that, he could see the internal fight happening inside her, whether to be mad, or embarrassed.

“Shh, pet,” he whispered, taking a tiny step forward to capture her lips.

His kiss was soft and Buffy found herself responding to it, the tension slowly leaving her body. It amazed her how easily Spike could calm her down; but then, it only seemed right since it was just as easy for him to piss her off.

“Spike, I--you--we…”

“What Buffy?” he asked when she fell silent, concern evident in his eyes.

“I’m just so confused,” she quietly confessed, staring down at the tiny gap that separated them. Suddenly the cement floor of the basement had never been quite so interesting.

“Why’s that?” he persisted, trying to catch her eyes.

“Other than the total and complete wrongness of this?” she reminded as she looked up. “Spike, we can’t, I can’t. It’s wrong,” she finally settled on with a frown.

“Why? Because you’re the Slayer, and I’m a vamp?” He took her silence for an answer. “Yeah, I think we’ve both been over this. How about I make it simple for you? I’m a man, you’re a woman; I want you, and you want me. Simple enough?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“You know it’s not that simple!” Buffy argued back.

“It is if you want it to be!” Spike shot back, running a hand agitatedly through his hair. “Look, you make it complicated because you let what everyone else thinks taint your view. Now, answer this question honestly, and without worryin’ about everything and everyone else.” He leaned himself closer to her, their noses almost touching, his hands on the wall on either side of her head. “What do you want?” he asked, staring her straight in the eyes.

What did she want? Wasn’t that the question of the year. Looking at his face, all she really wanted to do was suck that plump lower lip into her mouth until he made that noise that filled her with womanly satisfaction. Spike was still watching her expectantly and she tried to clear her head of thoughts of kissing him.

“What I want…” she repeated, finding it a little hard to think with Spike so close, her body still thrumming with the pleasure he’d wrought on it. “I want to be able to take care of Dawn,” she started and found the rest coming out without any effort. “I want to figure out a way to get rid of Glory. I don’t want to be worrying every second if I’m going to lose Dawn.”

“I’m gonna tell you now that you can only do so much. Gotta take care of what you can and let the rest work itself out,” he added with a shrug.

“You make it sound so simple.”

“That’s because it is. It can be.”

“Right, simple. I can do simple,” she mumbled.

Simple resulted in her reaching out and tugging him towards her, pulling that lip between hers, smiling when he groaned. Then he was really kissing her and it was a tangle of lips and limbs. Buffy finally let go to breathe, resting her forehead against his and staring into bottomless blue eyes.

Spike was right. Simple was easy; simple was good. Only she had a feeling that simple was going to get a lot more messy and complicated once they added the rest of her life to the equation.

“What?” Spike asked after a moment.

Again, it should have surprised her how easy it was for Spike to read her. Hell, half the time he knew what was going on with her when she herself didn’t know.

“Spike, this can’t be anything more,” Buffy added, feeling the need to clarify that. “There’s too much going on. Let’s just do what we need to keep Dawn and like you said, we’ll let the rest work itself out.”

“But you’re not going to deny this?” he prompted. “That there’s something between us?”

“I think that would be kind of pointless now. You okay with simple?” she asked.

For a moment, it seemed like Spike was going to start arguing but nodded his head instead.

“I’m good with my crumbs.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike had reluctantly let her go and they continued their tasks from earlier, sharing light banter as they worked. It was early afternoon by the time they’d managed to make the basement decent and habitable.

“Done! I almost thought it was going to be impossible,” Buffy commented, sitting down heavily on the cot they’d just finished setting up, as she surveyed the basement.

“Nothing’s impossible, Slayer. You should know that by now,” Spike added, sitting down beside her and turning to look at her. “What next?”

“Well, you need a shower,” she said, scrunching her nose at him. “You look like a dirt magnet.”

Spike’s jeans had mostly survived but his body and hair had a fine layer of dust and dirt.

“You gonna join me?” he asked leering at her.

Buffy gave him a ‘get real’ look and Spike pouted at her.

“Could make you all dirty so you need a shower,” he murmured, leaning in close to her. She pushed him back before anything could start and pointed her finger at the stairs, all the while shoving back the imagery his words brought to mind.

“You, shower, now,” she ordered.

“Yes, wife of mine,” Spike purred at her, before slinking towards the stairs and disappearing up them.

Buffy had a feeling she was going to like hearing those words from his mouth far too much, and that set a tendril of fear in her belly. Despite their earlier talk, she couldn’t allow herself to get too attached to Spike. He’d already wormed his way into her life, and it was farther in than she’d like. They’d do their pretending and it would stop there, or at least she hoped. Where Spike was concerned, nothing ever turned out as planned.

Shaking off her thoughts, Buffy grabbed Spike’s now clean shirt from the laundry and brought it upstairs with her. She set it on the counter before making herself a quick lunch. Sitting down at the counter, she nibbled on her sandwich as she flipped through the papers Spike had brought again. It still amazed her that he’d gotten a hold of them; she just wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to help, or if he wanted to tie himself to her. While she could admit she trusted him, she was still sketchy about his motives sometimes.

Staring down at the papers, she couldn’t stop the flip-flop of her stomach. Was she really going to go through with this? Sign the papers and be Spike’s wife? It excited and terrified her at the same time. It was something that she’d never thought she’d be doing, ever. Slayers were born with a short expiration date and she’d only narrowly missed it the first time around. Her short life expectancy also pushed her towards the fake marriage. This might be the only time she ever got to do it. Albeit it was to Spike, but it almost seemed fitting.

Overhead, she heard the shower turn off and it wasn’t long before she heard the clunking of his boots walking towards the kitchen. Again, she wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted her when she turned around.

Spike walked into the kitchen, pants half done up, rubbing a towel through his damp curls. A few droplets of water still glistened on his bare chest, making their way down the lines of his body.

I definitely could get use to this, she thought with a dreamy sigh.

No! You can’t get attached! Just use him and lose him, her slayer side interjected.

“Slayer, you’re starting to make me think I’m losin’ my charm,” Spike said, breaking her from her thoughts, turning to see him already across the room.

“You? Have charm?” she shot back, trying to cover up her spacing out.

“You wound me, pet,” Spike said, pressing a hand to his chest as he suppressed a smirk.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now put some clothes on.” She tossed the shirt at him, which he caught, his reflexes making it look easy.

“What, you don’t like me naked?”

“Will you just put your clothes on?” Buffy said, evading his question.

“Buggin’ you that much?” he asked, leaning back against the counter with a smirk.

“No,” she lied, only daring a quick glance at him. “But what if someone shows up? What you going to do then?”

“Give them a good show.”

“Ugh! What am I going to do with you?” Buffy muttered, as she buried her face in her hands, resisting the urge to look at Spike. Looking at him would only encourage him and make her want to do evil, wicked things.

“I can tell you what you could do,” Spike purred at her, pushing away from the counter towards her.

“Spike, could you focus for like, two seconds? We have important stuff to worry about,” Buffy reminded, motioning down at the papers.

“Fine, spoil my fun,” he grumbled as he did up his pants and slipped the shirt on.

“Fun will come later. Right now we’ve got to deal with this,” she said, frowning down at the aforementioned papers.

“You havin’ second thoughts?” he asked, brows drawn together.

“No, not exactly. I know we have to do this for Dawn. I just… This isn’t something I thought I’d ever be doing, you know? Slayer and all. It’s just… I don’t know,” she finished lamely.

“Well, let’s get a move on then,” Spike said, a pen magically appearing in his hands, scribbling his signature across a line.

Buffy gawked for moment at how nonchalantly Spike had signed the paper, like it wasn’t a big deal. Well, if it was so easy for him to do it, she could do it too. She snagged the pen as soon as he was done, signing the line across from Spike’s signature.

It was funny, she expected to feel different and all she felt was annoyed at the smug look on Spike’s face. He had known what he was doing all along.

“Jerk,” she mumbled.

“What was that Mrs. Thornhill?” he questioned with a smirk.

“Mrs. Thornhill?” Buffy repeated, looking confused.

“Always did say you were the bloody thorn in my side,” Spike teased.

“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“Oh come on, that would take all the fun out of it.”

“Whatever. I’m leaving,” she said. It was no use getting upset. Signing the papers was something she had to do anyways.

“Leaving?” he asked, humor gone.

“Uh, yeah. I have to go to the Magic Box. Giles said something about new books and Dawn’s meeting me there.”

“I’ll meet you there,” Spike said, grabbing the papers as he walked towards the living room.

“Spike, you do remember it’s the middle of the day?” Buffy asked as she followed after him. “Kind of a flammable time for you.”

“That’s why I’ll take the sewers,” he explained while swinging on his duster, the papers already safely tucked inside.

“All right, but if you show up smelling gross, I’m sending you right back,” Buffy warned, picking up a blanket off the couch and handing it to him.

“Ta, pet. Twenty bucks says I beat you there,” he teased, pecking her on the cheek before opening the door and running out, blanket pulled over himself.

“Buffy Thornhill?” Buffy wonder aloud as she grabbed her keys and left the house, never noticing the blinking light on the answering machine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bell jingled overhead as Buffy opened the door to the Magic Box. Everyone was already assembled at the table, flipping through books, looking up as she entered.

“Hey,” she greeted. “How goes the research?”

Buffy’s question was saved from answering by the stock room’s door opening.

“Bollocks. You beat me,” Spike swore as he closed the door and entered the room.

“And now you owe me twenty bucks,” Buffy shot back.

“Never shook on it. Owe you nothing.”

“What’s dead boy junior doing here?” Xander asked, standing up, breaking Spike and Buffy out of their banter.

“Yes, one would wonder what exactly you are doing here, Spike?” Giles said, also standing up.

“I’m with--” Spike started but was cut off by Buffy.

“He was checking out the demon haunts for me. I told him to meet me here,” she added quickly, and turned to address Spike. “So you find anything?”

“No, nothing,” Spike answered with a glare.

“You know? You’re kind of pathetic Spike,” Xander commented. “Running errands for Buffy. Doing anything you can to be near her. When are you going to wake up and realize that she wants nothing to do with you?”

“Well, Mrs. Thornhill, do you always allow your friends to talk so rudely to your husband?” a voice questioned. Everyone had been so focused on the argument that they missed the sound of the bell from the door.

Buffy’s eyes were wide as she turned to look towards the person who had spoken and found a short, stocky woman standing next to Dawn. Her hair was done up in a tight bun, glasses perched on her nose as she held her purse and clipboard close to her body.

Dawn gave a sheepish wave and smile.

“Mrs. Thornhill? Husband?” Xander repeated breathlessly, his face looking pale, those around him echoing his sentiments.

“Yes,” the woman answered. “Are you to tell me that Mrs. Thornhill,” she motioned towards Buffy, “hasn’t told you of her marriage yet?”

Her question was met with a thudding answer as Xander hit the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tbc…

July Jones, Chapter 20

Sun, 06 May 2007 20:15:58 GMT

Gah! I could have sworn I had already posted this chapter. So sorry for taking so long. This is the last chapter.

Author: BloodyTearsOfLife
Title: July Jones
Rating: PG-13/R
Disclaimer: All characters from The Fast and the Furious belong to Universal Studios, yada, yada, yada. I only own the ones you don’t know. And no profit is made of this, this is just for mine and hopefully your entertainment.
Summary: July Jones has just learned she's been lied to for the last 10 years. Now she is in LA trying to find the real her but it won't be easy and what happens when she moves next door to the team.

[|All Chapters|] [|Previous Chapter|]

Chapter 20: Lost and Found
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Vince got back to the house it was late in the afternoon, around two. His heart stopped as he saw the ambulance in July’s driveway. He parked his car and rushed over just in time to see Letty being brought out on a stretcher.

“Le, don’t let them take me! You know I hate hospitals!” Letty screamed as she latched onto Leon’s arm. There was a deep gash on her forehead and blood was dripping down the side of her face.

“What the hell is going on?” Vince asked as he stood next to Mia.

“I don’t know. All the sudden the ambulance pulled up to her house and we all came rushing over,” she said as tears ran down her face and Brian held her.

“Let, what happened?” Vince asked as he walked beside the stretcher.

“They took them,” she said worry in her eyes.

“Who did?” Vince asked as he was hit with a cold fist of fear in the gut.

“I don’t know. I got hit and when I woke up July and Mike were gone. V, you have to find them,” Letty pleaded. Vince just nodded his head and fell quiet.

“Do you have to take her?” Leon asked the paramedic.

“Yes, she might have a concussion. We want to take her for observation and stitch her up. Are you going to accompany her?” the medic asked.

“Yeah,” Leon said nodding.

“What hospital?” Mia asked.

“We’ll be taking her to Providence Memorial.”

“We’ll follow you in the car,” Mia told Leon as he went into the ambulance. The doors closed and it took off just as an officer came over.

“I’m officer Ray Gilroy. If you could just answer a few questions, we would be grateful for the cooperation,” the officer said to the group.

“We don’t know anything. All we heard was the ambulance and came out to see what was going on,” Dom said.

“I understand that there were two other individuals in the house, a July Jones and a Michael Bradley, is that correct?” he asked looking up from his notepad.

“Yeah, they live in the house.”

“According to Ms. Gonzales, she said that she was clocked on the head and then when she woke the other two were gone. Did any of you see anything shady? A strange car or a unfamiliar person?” he asked in his monotone voice.

“No, we didn’t see anything,” Mia answered, everyone agreeing with her.

Officer Gilroy asked them some more questions and then took a description of July and Mike. “We’ll put out an alert for them and try our best to find them. Please don’t try to find them on your own as the kidnapper may be armed and dangerous. Thank you for your time,” he said before turning and getting back into his car.

“We’re going to head to the hospital and see how Letty is,” Mia said to the group. “You going to be okay Vince?”

Vince looked up and Mia could see the tears in his eyes. “I have to get her back. I just got her, I can’t lose her,” he rambled.

“You’ll find her Vince, I know you will,” she replied, giving him a hug before Brian pulled her away and they got into his car and headed into the direction of the hospital.

Just as Brian’s car disappeared from sigh, Amy’s car pulled up and stopped in front of the house with a screech. She got out and they all knew something was wrong; she was crying.

“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked as he came over to her and held her in his arms. She tried talking but her crying made it hard to understand. “Shh, calm down. You have to stop crying so you can tell us what’s wrong,” Jesse said as he smoothed back her hair.

Slowly she calmed down and took a couple deep breaths.

“I don’t know what happened but something’s wrong. I came home and Mom was crying, saying something about Dad having enough and going to finish what he started a long time ago. I tried to ask her what she was talking about but all I got out was something about Texas. And the only thing I can think of when she said Texas was July. So I came to talk her,” Amy finished with a hiccup.

“Amy, he took her. Both her and Mike,” Vince said as rage boiled beneath the surface.

Amy’s face crumbled and she started crying again. “He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t do that,” Amy cried, shaking her head.

“Look, we don’t know for certain but it’s our best bet and the only thing we have to go on. Do you know where he might have taken them?” Vince asked trying to keep calm.

“I don’t know,” Amy answered as she searched her brain. “Wait, I might. He owns a beach house on the outskirts of LA,” Amy said as her eyes flickered around while she thought.

“Then we’ll look there,” Vince said turning towards the house just as Dom came out.

“Here,” Dom said passing him a gun and gave Vince a meaningful look. Vince understood and took the gun from him. They both check their magazine clips before tucking them in the waistbands of their pants.

“Amy, do you know how to get there?” Vince asked as he turned around.

“Yeah,” she answered in a shaky voice, Jesse still holding onto her.

“Look, I really need your help. I don’t know why he wants July or what he’s doing to her but I have to get her back and I need your help to do that. Are you with me?” he asked looking her in the eyes. Her brown eyes were filled with confusion and worry.

“Yeah,” she said after taking a deep breath, slowly nodding her head.

“And you understand that if it is your dad, it’s not going to matter.”

Amy didn’t trust her voice then and just nodded her head again. She gave Jesse a worried look and he squeezed her hand.

“All right. Jesse, you’re driving. Amy you sit in the front and direct Jesse. Let’s go,” Dom said and they all got into Jesse’s car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

July woke up with a groan. Her head was pounding and tried to bring her hand up to rub it but found she couldn’t. She tugged and realized that her hands were tied together. She opened her eyes and found herself in an unfamiliar room. Confusion flooded her as she tried to figure out what was going on.

She remembered talking to Letty, eating with Mike and Letty in the kitchen and then it all went black. She looked around and figured it was a garage of some sort, the cement floor cool underneath her. At the next pillar down, Mike sat slumped forward with his hands tied behind his back.

She wiggled her fingers and realized she was in the same situation. She pulled at the ropes around her wrists but only managed to burn herself with them. She winced in pain and sat back. Boy, was she screwed. What the hell was going on? She looked down and saw that her ankles were tied together too and she let out a string of curses.

“Now, is that any language for a young lady to use?” asked a voice from the darkness. Slowly a figure approached and stepped into the small amount of light.

It was Arnold.

July felt a gasp escape her lips. He looked half crazed; his clothes were rumpled and it looked like he hadn’t sleep in a couple days. He had a malicious expression on his face and he smelled faintly like alcohol. Mike was starting to stir and July looked over to see him shake his head.

“Oh my god, I feel like a brick hit my head,” he moaned in pain.

“That’s actually a very good analogy Mr. Bradley, it was a brick,” Arnold said in a cheerful voice.

Mike’s head snapped up and then he winced as the movement hurt his head. He took in his surroundings and their current situation. He didn’t recognize the man in front of them but his voice sounded familiar.

“What the hell is going on?” July snarled and Arnold clocked her in the face.

“Shut up scum,” he yelled.

July spit out the mouth full of blood and it landed on his pants. He kicked her in the stomach and let out an evil crackle as she cried out in pain. July was now awkwardly towards the side.

“Leave her alone you asshole!” Mike yelled and Arnold turned towards him.

“Ah yes, Mr. Bradley. Tell me, did your mother have a fun ride? I hope she enjoyed it.”

Mike’s eyes widen and July could see the anger flare in them.

“You don’t know crap about my mom,” Mike growled.

“See boy, that’s were you’re wrong. I know more about your mother than you think I do. Your mother use to work for me until her, uh, how should I say it? Untimely demise, or maybe that should be timely,” Arnold said with an amused smile.

“You…” Mike started as a piece of the puzzle fell into place.

“Yes, I hired someone to hit your mother’s car and leave her for dead. I hoped she would have died upon impact but sadly she didn’t. What a shame,” he commented.

“You asshole!” Mike shouted, struggling against his ties.

Arnold gave him a kick to the stomach, silencing him for the moment.

“Now none of that Mr. Bradley, but you may be wondering why. See, your mother was hired by me to be a spy on our dear July here. But once July found out the truth and left Texas, I had no need for your mother, so I disposed of her,” Arnold explained with a flick of his hand. “Couldn’t have her twittering about and saying something when I told her that her job was done.”

Mike’s eyes widen in realization as his mother’s last words echoed in his mind: my job is done.

“You are a crazy psycho who need to be locked away,” July yelled, her voice full of disgust.

“Oh such harsh words from such a pathetic girl. Don’t you realize it’s your fault that Mike’s mother is dead?” he said playing devil’s advocate.

July felt her heart jump in her throat, finding it suddenly hard to breathe. She looked over at Mike and gave him an anguished look.

“July don’t, it’s not your fault,” Mike said before Arnold kicked him again.

“Oh deary, it is all your fault. If you wouldn’t have left, Mike’s mother would still be alive. There was no way she continue spying on you without looking suspicious. So I was done with her, all because you left.” Arnold let silence fill the room for a moment, watching with satisfaction as a tear slid down July’s face. “Now, down to business, how should I kill you?” Arnold pondered as he pulled a shallow pan into the light. July could see several knives and a gun. Fear coiled within her and she began to sweat.

“Let Mike go,” she said as Arnold mused over the knives.

“Excuse me?” he asked as he looked up.

“Let Mike go, he has nothing to do with this. You said this was all about me,” July reminded him as she licked her dry lips and tried to think of a way to get out of here. God, she hoped that Vince would figure something out and find her. She would hate for the last thing he remembered of her was their fight.

“You see, I wish I could let Mike go but he already knows too much. Now I’ll have to kill him first while you watch and then I’ll kill you,” Arnold said with a glee.

July felt her heart beat double and her breathing become shallow. Before she could blink, Arnold picked up a knife and stabbed Mike in the gut with it. He let out a howl of pain and then went limp. July could feel the tears running down her face and started to cry.

“Why? Just tell me why,” she asked as her tears fell.

“You stupid girl, you haven’t figured it out yet? See, I was in love with your mother. I would have given anything for her and then I made the mistake of introducing her to your father,” he continued with a sneer. “They fell in love and things were fine for a while. I tried to convince myself that I was happy because she was happy but then they started to fall apart. I hoped it was my chance to finally get her but then she ended up pregnant with you and decided to stay with your father for you. You ruined any chance I had at being with Robin! I hated you from that moment and I knew that one day you would pay.

“It was after your eighth birthday when I decided I had had enough. I hired someone to kill you when you went on vacation. I unfortunately hired an incompetent fool who failed to kill you and only killed your father and mother. I could have lived if it had just been your father but he killed Robin, completely destroying any chance I would have had with your mother. I made him pay dearly for his mistake and then I sat and waited; I waited until the time was right. I knew that when you found out about your parents you would come crawling back and I was right.

“You showed up lost and alone and I played the helping lawyer and did my duty. I was going to try to tamper your car and make you crash but I didn’t think you deserved a fast death. You deserve a slow, drawn out death by my hands. And now that is exactly what is going to happen. So say your prayer and make a wish because it will be your last,” he finished with a wicked laugh.

Arnold picked up a knife and moved towards her. July tried to scoot away but it was impossible. He ripped open her shirt and began to make cuts that were deep enough to bleed profusely and hurt like hell, but not kill her for a while. He hummed under his breath as he continued until he was satisfied. She began to feel dizzy from the blood loss and fought to stay conscious.

“You are a sick, dirty bastard. My mother would have never been with you,” July spitted out.

Arnold let out a cry of rage before picking up a long, curved knife. “She was MINE! Do you hear me? MINE! And you took her away from me!” He screamed in her face.

“Right, I took her away from you. Maybe she didn’t want to be with a psycho stalker who takes revenge on little children!” July said as black dots began to cloud her vision.

“That’s it! I’ve had it with you. Forget the slow thing. I’m going to cut your heart out and leave you to die,” he said as he pulled back the knife. He began to lunge forward when a shot rang out. The last thing July saw was Arnold’s body hit the floor before the darkness overtook her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A beeping noise filled July’s ears as her eyes slowly fluttered open. She instantly closed them against the brightness and opened them further as they began to adjust to the light. The first thing she saw was the colorful bouquets of flowers around the room and the balloons. Then she felt the warmth in her hand and looked down.

Vince was asleep, his head resting on her bed as he held her hand. She smiled at him and felt her heart ache at the fact that she could have lost him. He took a deep breath, signaling his awakening and glanced up. His eyes got wide when he saw she was awake and tears began to form in them.

“July?” he asked, his voice in disbelief.

“Vince,” she said as a cry chocked in her throat.

They embraced each other, Vince careful of July’s injuries.

“I almost lost you,” he murmured against her hair and closed his eyes as a tear leaked out.

“I almost lost you. That fight was completely stupid. I'm sorry,” she said rubbing her cheek against his.

“Me too,” he said running a hand through her hair. They held each other for a bit, reassuring each other of their feelings, and just relished being held by the other.

“I was so scared,” July began in a small voice, pulling back to look at him. “But you found me Vince, you found me,” she cried and gave him a kiss. It was bittersweet and their tears mingled in it.

“I love you,” Vince whispered against her lips.

“I love you too,” she replied. They stared at each other for a moment before the door opened and a doctor came in.

“Well, hello Ms. Jones, so nice to see you awake. I’m Dr. Lee,” the doctor said coming over to her and giving her hand a friendly shake. “I’m just going to recheck your vitals,” he said and did so.

“How long do I have to stay here?” July asked as he finished taking her blood pressure.

“You can be released this afternoon if you like. The cuts are bandaged up and should be fine. You were very lucky; you have no concussion, or broken ribs. You do have a few bruises and we’ll give you some medicine for the pain but you’re fine to go home,” he finished with a smile.

“Thank you,” July said as the doctor left the room. “What about Mike?” she asked Vince in alarm. The last thing she remembered was him being stabbed in the stomach and then going limp.

“He’s fine,” Vince said grabbing her hand. “He just had a stab wound. It didn’t hit any organs and he was actually pretending to be out. He figured that if he played dead Arnold would stop. Smart guy.”

July breathed a sigh of relief and then fear crawled in her gut again. “And Arnold?” she asked in a small voice.

“I shot him in the chest but he’ll live and he’s locked up right now. The police are going to talk to you later and ask you to testify,” he said.

“I will. That bastard is going to go where he belongs,” July replied and closed her eyes as she became tired.

“Take a nap. I’ll go check you out and get your medication,” he ordered as he smoothed the hair back from her forehead and gave her a kiss.

“Wait, what about Letty?” July murmured even as her eyes drifted closed.

“She’s fine too. Now sleep. When you wake up we can get out of here,” he said caressing her cheek.

“Sounds good,” she said before succumbing to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When she woke later, Vince was true to his word and had everything ready for her to leave. He brought her some clothes and helped her changed, cringing as he saw her black and blue body and swore to himself that he wouldn’t ever let her get hurt again.

Letty was also released but stayed at the hospital to be with Mike, who wasn’t getting released until the next day. Vince took July to visit Mike before they headed home.

She tapped on his door and it swung slightly open. Letty was sitting next to him talking and they quieted as she entered the room.

“Hey Let, how you feeling?” July asked.

“Hanging in there. And you?”

“I’m all right.”

“I’ll let you two talk while Vince and I go grab something to drink,” she said giving Mike a peck on the cheek before leaving the room.

July sat down in the chair that Letty had been in and turned towards Mike.

“Before you start, I don’t want to hear any apologize for what happened about how it’s all your fault because it wasn’t. So I don’t want to hear it,” Mike said in a firm manner.

“But Mike-,” July stared.

“No buts July. There was nothing you could have done. So I want you to save the apologizes for a time when you should apologize but are too stubborn to,” Mike replied with a smirk.

“Thanks Mike,” July said with tears in her eyes and she gave him a hug.

“Plus, now I have this cool scar and I can score babes with it,” Mike commented, lifting up the side of his hospital gown and showing her his stitches.

“I heard that!” Letty yelled from outside the door.

July and Mike laughed and a moment later Letty and Vince both came back in.

“So what’s this about scoring babes with your scar?” Letty asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Mike answered with the most innocent look he could muster.

“Uh huh, and I’m suppose to believe that because?”

“Because you can’t resist the hotness that is me,” Mike said with a cheesy grin. Letty let out a laugh and gave him a kiss.

“Oh Letty, I feel sorry for you,” July said.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because you’re stuck with that,” July said pointing at Mike and trying not to laugh at the indignant look that Mike had.

“Hey!” Mike exclaimed and the girls laughed. “A little sympathy for the stab victim here,” he grumbled and Vince gave him a sympathetic look.

“We’re going to get going. We’ll be back tomorrow with some clothes for you guys and help you get out of here,” July said standing up.

“All right, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Mike said.

Everyone said their goodbye and July and Vince left the room towards the main entrance The two had just stepped inside the waiting center when Mia attacked July, hugging her.

“Oh thank god you’re okay,” Mia cried as tears came to her eyes.

“Mia, bruises and need to breathe,” July mumbled and Mia let go.

“Sorry, sorry,” Mia said with an apologetic look.

“It’s okay. Brian,” July said as he gave her a small hug.

“They letting you leave?” he asked.

“Yup. Vince here already checked me out,” July said taking hold of Vince’s hand. She let it go as Leon came forward and gave him a hug. “Le.”

“JJ,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and then let her go.

Jesse gave her a hug next and then Dom came forward. July hesitated for a moment but held out her arms and he gave her a weak hug.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said as he let her go.

July gave him a smile and then stepped back. He stepped aside to show a cowering Amy and July’s breath caught for a moment. She didn’t know exactly what to say or do, but she realized that Amy had nothing to do with it and it was unfair to punish Amy for something her father had done.

“Amy, come here,” July ordered, holding out her arms.

Amy slowly came over to her and tentatively gave her a hug and started to cry. “I’m sorry JJ, I didn’t know he was going to do that. You must hate me now,” she mumbled.

“Hey, I don’t hate you, you had nothing to do with what your dad did. Okay?” July said pulling her back enough to look her in the face.

“Okay,” Amy agreed, nodding and gave her a weak smile before wiping her eyes. As July let her go, she clung to Jesse, who gave her a quick kiss.

“Man, what a day,” July mumbled as she leaned back against Vince, everyone else starting to head towards the exit.

“Tell me about it,” Vince said.

“Let’s go home,” she said looking up at Vince and giving him a kiss, knowing she had found the one thing that completed her and she wasn’t going to let it go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The End

Supernatural Screencaps and Picspam...

Thu, 03 May 2007 21:59:37 GMT

I uploaded these for copykween and I figured I'd might as well put them out there for anyone else that wants them. (Again, big thanks to CK for buying the season DVD for me.)

Supernatural Screencaps - Season 1

The screencaps are mostly Dean centric, but there's some Sam and John.

And a mini-picspam/sample teaser...

1.
Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.

2.
My boots.

3.
I have no words...

4.
Sleepy!Dean is just guh!

5.
WAY better than Paris Hilton.

6.
The eyebrow...

7.
Pout.

8.
Tongue.

9.
Yes Dean, of course you should try and taste the yucky herbs...

10.
Do I even need to explain why this one is here?

11.
All I can say is wow....

12.

13.

14.
Dean loves his food.

15.
*giggles*

16.
As much as he complains about the costumes, he sure does look good in them.

17.
Sam so did...

18.
It's okay Dean, I'll buy you a box of Lucky Charms.

19.
Nope, I have no idea why this one is here at all....

20.

21.
So pretty.

22.
Dean is hot when he's pissed off.

23.
I think he wears the outfit well. =)

24.
Wave bye Dean.

25.
And now Dean is sad because it's the end.

Disk 1

Disk 2

Disk 3

Disk 4

Disk 5

Disk 6 - Includes gag reel caps -

I have the basic account so these downloads are good for 7 days or 100 downloads, so comment if you download.

*Please credit me if you take the caps and use them. Thanks!

Wow.....

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 00:08:16 GMT

Right now at the moment, I am completely speechless. ~~Or mostly.~~ The uberly wonderful angelic_amy told me to go check out Spark and Burn Awards (which is opened for a new round so go nominate!), because there was something waiting for me. And lookie:

And she also wrote a paragraph about why she picked my site that was very sweet and touching. Thank you so much Amy. I don't have words to tell you how much this means to me. *huge hugs* I just wish there was some way I can repay you back. So if you want anything, ever, let me know. Icons, banners, wallpapers, whatever you want.

OMG!

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 03:34:18 GMT

Just Pretending... has won its first awards from Spark and Burn Awards! I couldn't be more happy. Not only did it win Best Comedy/Fluff, but it was also got Reader's Choice for Best Buffy Characterization! *squee* So thanks to all those that voted for my little fic. =)

I want to give a big thank you to copykween and arieldawn who both beta this fic. It wouldn't be as good as it is without you two. I owe you soo much. *hugs*

Big congrats to all the other winners on my flist! Especially Ariel!

28 Misc Celeb Icons

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 23:47:23 GMT

So I'm back. Kinda. I'll make a post tomorrow explaining stuff. (And post my answers to that interview me thing.)

Anywho, here's another batch of misc celeb icons. This set is dedicated to copykween. Hope they cheer you up some!

28 Icons:
[4] Chris Evans
[4] James Marsters
[4] Jared Padalecki
[6] Jensen Ackles
[4] Justin Hartley
[6] Tom Welling

*All are shareable! Also, feel free to link me to some more pics or suggest anyone else you'd like to see.

Teaser:

01) 02) 03) 04)

05) 06) 07) 08)

09) 10) 11) 12)

13) 14) 15) 16)

17) 18) 19) 20)

21) 22) 23) 24)

25) 26) 27) 28)

Graphic Resources in my user info

Hiatus?

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 20:50:36 GMT

Just wanted to let everyone know that I may be taking a short hiatus due to RL stuff. I may not be around much and just wanted to let everyone know that so no one worried if I suddenly seem to disappear.

Also, Happy Belated Birthday to spikespetslayer! Hope you had a great day. *hugs*

Just Pretending... - Chapter 6

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 00:17:36 GMT

First I must give a thank you to uisge_beatha, who pimped this fic out on her LJ. I am still touched beyond words and I can't thank you enough. *hugs*

This chapter gave me quite a headache but I was finally able to wrestle it into submission. Hope it's worth wait.

Title: Just Pretending…
Author: BloodyTearsOfLife
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the Joss, he just let’s me play with them.
Summary: A visit from the social workers and Dawn’s created a nice mess for Buffy to clean up, with the help of Spike of course. Takes place before ‘Tough Love’.

A/N: HUGE thank you to copykween for listening to me whine and complain and for having extensive IM convos and helping rearranging this chapter. I really couldn’t have done it without you. And also to Ariel (arieldawn), who’s reaction after working her beta magic on this was completely worth it.

[|All Chapters|] [|Previous Chapter|]

Chapter 6: Truce?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It ended up that Buffy stood staring at the stove with a grim look on her face while Spike watched her.

“Have no clue what you’re doing, am I right?” Spike asked with a smug look on his face.

Buffy pouted. “Mom and I never really got to that part. She always made the food, I was just the consumer.”

“Simple enough,” Spike said, moving away from the basement door. “We’ll do something easy, something you don’t have a chance of messing up. Then again, you do a good job of doing that regardless.”

“Oh bite me,” Buffy shot back at him.

“Would be my pleasure,” Spike drawled, raising goosebumps on Buffy’s skin as he brushed past her towards the fridge. He returned with eggs in one hand and butter in the other.

“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Buffy asked as Spike began to heat up some butter in a pan.

“Slayer, it’s cooking. It’s not rocket science.”

“I’ll show you rocket science,” Buffy mumbled.

“Promises, promises. Now come on, at least pretend to pay attention.”

Buffy hopped up on the counter next the stove and watched with apt attention as Spike began breaking eggs into the pan. Her eyes followed the movement of his arms, the muscles there tightening and loosening. She lost concentration of Spike’s cooking as her eyes continued up the smooth curve of his bicep, his shoulders, and then down that small indented line down his torso, finally coming to rest just below his belly button where there was the faintest line of dark hair that disappeared into his jeans.

No Buffy! Don’t be looking at Spike’s… anything. He’s a friend.

Pulling her eyes away, she looked back at the stove to see Spike give the eggs one last stir before shutting it off.

“Done? Already?” she asked. “That was fast.”

“Told you, it’s just eggs,” Spike answered, staring into her eyes, his own letting her know he was aware of what had just happened. He turned away from her and making sure she had a good view, he opened a cupboard and stretched up to grab plates from the upper shelf.

Buffy once again caught herself staring and turned away. Spike needed clothes, like now. She searched her mind for some distraction.

“The courthouse,” she blurted out.

Spike turned and lifted an eyebrow at her while he scooped out the eggs onto two plates, handing her the one with the bigger serving.

“Last night,” she started, “when I was following you. You went to the courthouse. Why?”

“So no accusations? No ‘what evilness were you doing’?” Spike asked back as he sat at the breakfast counter.

“Spike…”

“Bugger. Didn’t know if this loony plan of yours was for real or not. On the off chance that it was legit, I was securing papers,” he explained.

“Papers?”

“Yeah, papers. Legal documents,” he tried again when Buffy stared at him blankly. “Oh, I’ll go fetch ‘em. You eat. I’ll be right back.”

Spike was gone down the basement door before Buffy could tell him that she understood what he was talking about, she just didn’t realize he would have thought about it and tried to get them.

She had just sat down beside the seat that Spike had vacated when the basement door opened again. Spike tossed down a packet of papers in front of her and then made a beeline for the microwave, a bag of blood in his hands.

“I didn’t know we had blood,” Buffy commented.

“Mum kept it down in the freezer for when I stopped by.”

Buffy didn’t object or make a big deal about it; instead she pulled the packet towards her, opening it up. Inside was a certificate of marriage set, unsigned of course, and a few legal documents, mostly for Spike so he could be employed and married.

“So these are for real?” Buffy asked, scrutinizing the papers.

“Real enough,” Spike answered as he returned to the counter, mug of blood in hand. He poured a little bit over his eggs, Buffy scrunching up her nose. “Oh quit it. You can pretend it’s ketchup if it makes you feel better,” Spike added when he noticed her look.

“Right, ketchup,” she agreed and finding that it pretty much did look like ketchup, if she didn’t stare too hard. She cleared her throat and continued on. “How did you get these? I mean, I saw the guy, but how did you?”

“You haven’t noticed how so many strange things happen ‘round here and there’s no consequences? There’s a reason for that. Half the legal system here is demon pet. I know a bloke or two who work there and were willing to negotiate some papers for me,” Spike explained.

“I guess that makes sense, especially after the Mayor,” she mused aloud. “So we just have to sign these? And then we’re…married?”

“More or less. The guy told me to bring him the second copy, for the records. No doubt whoever is after the Nibblet will see if what she said pans out or not.”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that,” Buffy mumbled with a frown.

“It’s why you always need a partner in crime,” Spike joked as he scooped up some of his bloody eggs.

Buffy turned back to her own eggs, prodding them with her fork. She glanced sideways at Spike before lifting a tiny portion to her mouth and eating it. She had to admit, it was better than anything she would have been able to make. As she started in on them with more enthusiasm, she missed the smile Spike gave her while he shook his head.

The two ate in silence until both of their plates were scraped clean. Buffy sat back, sated, rubbing her stomach as Spike took her plate and put it with his in the sink.

“Mmm…I think you should make breakfast everyday,” Buffy commented.

“Sounds like you’re askin’ me to be here every morning,” Spike challenged as he leaned across the counter towards her.

“No, that would imply I want you here. Which I don’t. I just want the nummies,” Buffy shot back.

“Well, I vaguely recall offering them this morning and being turned down.”

Buffy fought with everything inside her not to blush or even react to his words. Instead, the memory of the morning brought back Spike’s words that he’d last thrown at her before stomping out of her room. When Buffy glanced back at the vampire it seemed that Spike’s mind had followed her thoughts, his face had lost its teasing edge.

“Look Buffy, about this morning, what I said…”

“How about we just forget it?” she interrupted with a forced smile. “You know, truce, start all over?”

Spike, for a moment, wanted to say no. He wanted to make her face it. He knew he had hurt her. He could see the glimmer of pain behind her false veil of cheerfulness; but he could also see that she really didn’t want to talk about it because it hurt her more than she’d like to admit.

“All right then, a truce,” he finally agreed, not wanting to cause her any more pain.

Neither one were lost to the irony that a truce was what had first paired them up and they shared knowing smiles, both remembering Spike knocking out the policeman to save her.

“So, what’s on the list to do today?” Spike asked, coming around to lean against the counter.

Buffy gave him a shining smile and took his hand.

“It’s interesting you should ask…”

His elation that Buffy was willingly holding his hand, smiling at him, had him tuning out whatever she was saying while she dragged him down to the basement, his mind thinking up a lot of fun scenarios. It wasn’t until she let go of his hand that he began to comprehend her words.

“…move the boxes and start clearing the space.”

“Huh?” he asked, tilting his head at her.

Buffy then turned to look at him, hands on her hips, her lips pressed in a thin line. “You weren’t listening, were you?”

Spike could only offer her a guilty look.

“As I was saying,” Buffy began with a glare. “You’re going to need a place here. I figured the basement was the best. It has the least amount of light during the day. But it needs cleaning, and that’s where you come in,” she finished with a bright smile.

“Right, figures I get the dirty work,” Spike mumbled as turned towards the array of boxes.

“It’s not that bad,” Buffy countered with a roll of her eyes.

It wasn’t long though before Buffy was helping Spike move the boxes, easily working together. For once, it was nice to be herself and not have to worry about if she was doing too much. She remembered when they had helped Xander move that she had to watch how much she was doing so she didn’t make Riley feel bad. It wasn’t a good thing to be able to out lift your boyfriend, and he sulked at her that afternoon. But with Spike, she could do what she wanted and it didn’t matter, because she knew Spike could care less. He knew she was strong and let her do her own thing.

The buzz of the dryer had her turning back towards the laundry she had started earlier, moving the different loads and then began folding the clean one.

Buffy paused from her task for a moment, looking over at Spike to see how he was doing. The sight she face stopped her breath short. Spike was bent over, picking up one of the heavier boxes to move, the muscles in his back rippling with his effort. She was transfixed as she watched him, the hard lines of his bare torso sharpening, tightening as he lifted the boxes. As he finally positioned the box the way he wanted, Spike wiped his dusty hands on the seat of his plastered on jeans and then pushed back the curls from his forehead, Buffy watching his movements from start to finish.

It was then that Spike felt the weight of her stare and turned towards Buffy to see her looking at him, her eyes slightly glazed over. He smirked before starting a slow swagger in her direction, his cock already hardening beneath the confines of his jeans that rode low on his hips.

“You still ogling my goodies Slayer?” Spike asked, curling his tongue at her.

“N-n-no,” Buffy stammered, her cheeks beginning to redden. “I’m just taking a break, to uh, check your progress.”

She spun back around quickly, trying with all her concentration to get herself under control. She heard Spike stomp back over at the boxes, apparently not happy with her dismissal, his handling of the boxes not as gentle as before.

Oh my god, oh my god, Buffy repeated over and over in her head.

Why had she even brought up Spike moving into the house? Because it would be easier with him around? Because he made things simpler? Because she wanted him around? She didn’t even want to think about that right now. She couldn’t even keep her eyes to herself, for god’s sake! It was even worse when her fingers wanted to make with the grabby.

Spike is my friend, there will be no more ogling of Spike.

She could do this. Spike was in her life, he was her friend and that was it. He was a vampire and she couldn’t even think about being with him. They were doing this for Dawn and that was the end it, nothing more. There was no need to get caught up in something that could never happen. Not that she wanted it to happen. Despite the continuing protests of that voice in the back if her head, which for some reason sounded like her mother, that things with Spike would be different, she couldn’t let herself believe it. It wasn’t Spike’s fault that she reacted the way she did. She’d just have to control herself, just like he did.

“You uh, want some help?” Buffy offered as she folded the last of the clean clothes. See, she could be Spike’s friend. She just wished the dryer would hurry up so she could get some clothes on him, because the bare chestness? So not helping.

“If you want. Don’t make a difference to me,” Spike answered without looking back.

His coldness made her not want to help but as he took a peek over his shoulder at her to see what she would do, it helped make her decision for her. She had just reached his side when his soft snickering had her looking over at him.

“What’s funny?” she asked, hands on her hips.

“Nothing, just thought you looked right fetching with all the cobwebs,” Spike teased.

“Not like you’re looking any better!” Buffy shot back, making Spike’s hands fly to his hair.

“Yeah? Well, at least I don’t got a spider making a nest in my hair,” he commented, watching with growing amusement as a look of panic set on Buffy’s face.

“A spider?!? Get it off! Get it off!” she yelled, flailing her arms by her sides.

“I will, just hold still,” Spike replied, now laughing openly.

Buffy did her best to hold still as Spike plucked the spider from her hair, tossing it away, all the while laughing at her.

“It’s not funny!” she protested, her fingers combing her hair as she pouted.

“Bloody right it was! The big Slayer all afraid of an itty bitty spider.”

“I hate spiders. They’re creepy,” she said with a shiver as Spike continued to laugh at her. “Jerk…”

“Right, I’m the jerk, and here I was doing the honorable thing and saving your from the spider!”

“Fine, so you’re not a jerk…all the time.”

“Do my ears deceive me? Did the Slayer really admit I’m not all horrible?” Spike asked, his tone sarcastic.

“You watch it buddy, or you’re going to get what’s coming to you,” Buffy warned but couldn’t stop the grin on her face.

“See how nice it is when you’re not being a bitch?” Spike asked.

“Hey!” Buffy began to argue, but Spike simply stared at her. “All right, so I admit, I can be mean sometimes, but, but sometimes you deserve it,” she added.

“That I do. I can be a bastard sometimes, I know it. Like this morning, you didn’t deserve that,” Spike said, changing the entire mood.

“And you didn’t either,” Buffy found herself saying. “We both said bad things. And we both agreed to just forget about it. We made a truce.”

“Yeah, and how long is that goin’ to last?” he asked, taking a step closer as he brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

Buffy felt her mouth go dry as Spike’s hand trailed down her jaw, the feel of his cooler hand on her heated skin sending tendrils of pleasure through her. He trailed a single finger down the column on her neck, circling it around and starting up the other side.

Spike could feel her heart thudding underneath his fingertip, feeling it as it sped up under his caress. Her eyes were impossibly wide and slightly unfocused. He cupped his hand around her cheek, his thumb softly brushing across her lips, her breath hot against his skin. It wasn’t just her breath that was hot, it was all of her. As he took another small step forward, he could feel the heat radiating off of her.

She was like a deer caught in headlights as Spike slowly lowered his head towards her, her eyes fluttering shut as his mouth softly touch hers. Her internal cries that she shouldn’t be doing this were quieted as Spike captured her mouth again, increasing the pressure but still keeping the kiss light, stealing her breath away.

In sharp contrast to their previous kisses, these were soft and slow. It was as if Spike was taking his time to relearn every curve of her mouth, how many noises he could draw out of her. Kissing Spike was a lot like drowning in a sense. Everything else faded away until there was just one sensation, and in this case, it was the feel of his lips against her, his tongue dueling with hers, his moans echoing hers; there was nothing else that matter except that he kept kissing her, that he kept the rush of pleasure flowing through her.

It was as he released her to let her breathe that the world came crashing back to her and she fought the hold he had on her body.

“Spike, stop, please, you have to…” Buffy tried to say.

“Shh…I know you want this,” Spike whispered back as he tried, but failed, to keep her in his arms. “I know you want me.”

Buffy’s struggles increased until a well placed shove had Spike flying back into one of the boxes. She fought to gain control of her breathing. How had things gotten so far? It was like as soon as Spike laid a finger on her, her self-control, along with logic, flew out the window. This couldn’t happen, ever.

“You’re wrong Spike. I never want you,” she all but growled out. Her anger at her lack of self-control making her hands curl into fists at her side.

“Right,” he drawled with a snort, “You don’t want me, you just NEED me here, so I can cook the food and get Nibblet to do her homework and all the things you can’t do or don’t want to do. And all without anything in return. Honestly, why in the bloody hell would you ask me to be here when it’s so obvious you don’t want me here? That you can’t stand me to be here? That you always push me away?”

“Because I don’t trust myself!” she yelled back, her eyes wide at her admission.

Spike fell silent at that.

She didn’t give him a chance to say anything and ran up the stairs as quickly as she could, Spike right behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tbc…

Jensen/Dean Wallpaper

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 05:16:19 GMT

So I was looking around in the memories over at awmpdotnet and I found the light bursting wallpaper walkthrough. Made me want to do a version of my own. So here's a new wallpaper based loosely on it, using a pretty pretty picture of Jensen. ~~Don't look at me like that Nibblet. (see bottom note)~~

If you snag, please comment and credit. Thanks!

[| 800X600 |] [| 1024X768 |]

I should also have a new James wallpaper in a while. =)

20 BtVS Icons...

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 04:40:25 GMT

I felt like I haven't done BtVS icons in forever. And it turns out I was right. So here's a batch that I put together. Hope you enjoy. :-)

20 BtVS Icons:
[12] Spike/Buffy
[3] Buffy
[5] Spike

Teaser:

*Please comment and credit!*

01) 02) 03) 04)

05) 06) 07) 08)

09) 10) 11) 12)

13) 14) 15) 16)

17) 18) 19) 20)

Graphic resources in my user info

July Jones, Chapter 19

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 21:34:48 GMT

Okay, one more chapter to go after this!

Author: BloodyTearsOfLife
Title: July Jones
Rating: PG-13/R
Disclaimer: All characters from The Fast and the Furious belong to Universal Studios, yada, yada, yada. I only own the ones you don’t know. And no profit is made of this, this is just for mine and hopefully your entertainment.
Summary: July Jones has just learned she's been lied to for the last 10 years. Now she is in LA trying to find the real her but it won't be easy and what happens when she moves next door to the team.

[|All Chapters|] [|Previous Chapter|]

Chapter 19: Proving Yourself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cars were lined up and down the main drag for more than a quarter of a mile. July sat in her car at the starting line. Everyone had wished her good luck and reassured her that she would win but when it came down to it, it was just her: this would either make or break her. Vince gave her a good luck kiss before getting into Dom’s car and heading down to the finish line. Vince hadn’t forgiven Dom yet but they were on civil terms so far.

Turning on her stereo, she got the car ready for the race, opening the tanks and flipping the switches. She sat back in her seat and surveyed the competition. She was in Dom’s usual spot on the outer right edge and looked over.

There was a maroon Altima next to her, then a white CRX, and then a light blue Lancer. The drivers were all male and all had different expressions on their faces. The guy in the Altima looked slightly bored about racing against her while the guy in the CRX looked slightly impressed that she was racing. The guy in the Lancer looked cocky and just gave her a smirk like he knew she was going to lose. His arrogant smile did it for her and she knew she was going to win; there was no doubt about it. She was going to take that stupid look off his face and show him that being a girl didn’t make you bad.

Looking out the window, she saw Leon listening to the scanners a couple feet down. She saw him raise the two-way radio and speak into it; it was time. The butterflies in her tummy went into double time and continued to make their presence known as Hector raised his hands up. Pushing down on the clutch and shifting the car into first, she waited. Her grip was so hard that her hands started to ache. She relaxed her grip a bit and took a deep breath. She revved the car and her opponents mimicked the action.

Her car took off from the starting line with a roar as Hector dropped his hands. Not once did she look to the side or in her rearview mirror. She honed herself on listening to the engine and shifting at the right moment.

She momentarily looked down at her gauges and saw she was ready for a shot of nitrous. Taking a deep breath, she moved her thumb from the steering wheel and pressed down on the red button. The g-force pushed her back into the seat and her tires gave a small squeal as her car lunged forward. All the cars and people blurred into a blob of color as the car flew down the road.

She passed the finish line with a small cry of joy. She slowed down and then made a u-turn and drove back to the finish line. Vince was waiting for her at the side and she leaped into his arms as she got out.

“I did it,” she cried above the cheering, her voice still breathless.

“Told ya you could do it,” he replied with a smile.

“Oh shut up monkey boy and kiss me,” she said and Vince gave her a grumble before happily capturing her lips.

They broke apart when they heard someone clearing their throat. July looked over to see Hector holding out her money. Vince lowered her down and July took the money from Hector.

“Thanks,” she said with a big smile, the adrenaline still making her giddy.

Hector just smirked at her before turning around and starting to organize another race. Everyone surrounded her and congratulated her. Pulling a roll from her stack of money, she made her way over to Dom, who was standing on the sidelines.

“Here’s your money,” she said holding out the roll.

“You keep it,” he ordered, looking down at it.

“I don’t want your pity money,” she snapped before taking a deep breath. “Look, I understand that you’re sorry and I'm glad that you realize you made a mistake and I forgive you. It’s Vince that you’re going to have to make it up to. I owe you this money so please take it,” July said holding it closer to him. With a dejected sigh, Dom took the money and gave her a meaningful look.

“You think he hates me?” he asked.

“He couldn’t hate you. Just give him some time and don’t be an ass,” she said with a smirk. Dom shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. July turned around and started to walk back to her car when Dom grabbed her by the arm.

“I just wanted to say I was sorry,” he said when she turned around. He let go of her arm and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“I know and I forgive you,” she replied with a tense smile. Being around Dom still unsettled her a bit. She then turned and headed back to Vince. He was taut and began to relax as she wrapped an arm around his waist.

“What was that all about?” he asked, his voice a dangerous growl.

“Just gave him his money and he told me sorry,” she answered casually.

“Oh,” he replied, trying to keep his cool. Suspicion didn’t get him anywhere with July; he had learned that with the little scuffle over Mike and Max.

July looked at his face and how hard he was trying to hold back and laughed. “Don’t worry, nothing happened. He just wanted to apologize,” she said answering his held back question, the last of the tension sliding away.

“Come on, there’s another race, let’s move your car and watch. Then we’ll party,” he said with a sly smirk, tugging on her waist and moving towards her car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

July and Vince were one of the first ones back to the houses. Parking in her driveway, she and Vince made their way over to the fort, as Vince liked to call it. Music was playing and beers were already out. Vince grabbed one and offered one to July. She shook her head no and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

They made their way back to the living room and sat down on the couch, July sitting half way on Vince’s lap. The people were pouring in and the music had become a couple decibels louder. They looked around to find everyone: Jesse was teaching Amy how to play some game on the PS2, Letty and Mike were dancing and seemed to be having lots of fun, Leon was sitting in a chair talking to a blonde chick and appeared to be doing it out of sheer boredom, and Dom was talking to a group of guys near the front door. Mia and Brian then came out of the kitchen, each with a drink and sat on the couch on the other side of the room.

After sitting on the couch for a bit, July and Vince got up and danced. Vince wasn’t too bad but made an amusing sight. They danced a couple songs before July took pity on him and then sat back down. July curled up into his lap and Vince leaned in, whispering in her ear.

“Had enough of the party yet?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on,” he said, getting up and grabbing her hand.

They started to walk towards the door but instead of opening the door, Vince turned right and began to walk up the stairs. July didn’t hesitate and followed after him. They walked down the dim hall and Vince opened the last door on the right. He held the door opened and allowed her to enter first before following her and locking the door behind him.

July’s heart skipped a beat when she saw his room. Apart from it looking like any guys room, there were several candles placed around the room that were lit and gave the room a warm look. The scent of tiger lilies caught her attention and she saw a beautiful bouquet standing next to the bed on the nightstand.

“Vince…” she trailed off, turning back to him.

“July, I love you, but that doesn’t mean we have to do this. I just wanted tonight to be special,” he said stepping forward and staring her straight in the eye. The want and desire were palpable in the room.

“I know and I love you too and I want to do this,” she replied, stepping closer and trailing a finger up his arm before wrapping her hand around his neck and tugging him down for a kiss.

Vince wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss, pulling her as close as possible. When they both pulled back to breathe, Vince tugged off his shirt and let it drop to the floor. Vince kissed her tenderly on the lips before bringing one hand up and lowering the strap on her left shoulder, kissing the shoulder and then repeating the same action on the other side. July let the shirt fall to the floor and stared up at Vince timidly. Vince saw her fear of rejection in her eyes and kissed her, trying to convey all his emotions for her. When he pulled back, her eyes were more confident.

Toeing off his shoes, he grabbed her and set her down on the bed. He unzipped her boots, pulling them off, and then skimmed his hands up her legs, resting them on her hips. July raised her feet, looped a toe into his belt loops, and tugged down. Vince chuckled at her before unbuttoning his pants and kicking them off, standing in only his boxers. Rising up her hips, Vince shimmied the skirt off her. They were still for a few moments, each one studying the other. July felt a heat rise within her under Vince’s stare.

Discarding the rest of their clothes, they huddled underneath the blankets and embraced each other, soft curves pressing against muscular ones. They joined together, oblivious to the world around them; they were only focused on each other and that was all they could see. July let out a breath of completion before falling asleep on Vince’s chest, secure in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The warm surface beneath July’s face shifted and brought her out her slumber. She stretched her body out before tucking herself deeper into the crevasse between Vince’s arm and chest. One of her hands rested on his shoulder while one of his rested on her hip.

“Morning,” he murmured, his voice gravelly from sleep.

“Morning,” she said with a big smile on her face and pressed a kiss against his chest.

“How did you sleep?” he asked with a deep sigh.

“Good. What about you?” she asked raising her head to look at him. His eyes were still closed and a smile tugged at his lips.

“Me too,” he said opening his eyes open a slit to look at her. Her face was glowing and her hair was wild but he still thought she looked beautiful.

“What are you thinking?” she asked propping her head on his chest.

“How beautiful you are,” he answered as he trailed a thumb across her bottom lip.

“Really?” she asked playfully as she crawled closer to his face.

“Yeah,” he mumbled against her lips.

Soon they were kissing and lost themselves in their passion.

“You want to know what sounds good right now?” July asked when she pulled back to breathe. Vince gave her a lustful look and she laughed at him. “That too but not what I was thinking off. A shower sounds better,” she said with a mischievous smirk. Vince gave her a sly smile of his own before jumping out of bed and hauling her over his shoulder.

“All right, let’s go,” he said giving her a light smack on the butt.

“Vince! Stop!” she yelled.

“What?” he asked stopping in his tracks.

“A little case of nakedness here. There’s no way I’m going out of this room with nothing on.”

“Fine,” he said setting her down. Vince grabbed one of his shirts and pulled it over her; it stopped around the middle of her thighs. “All better,” he said before hefting her back onto his shoulder and heading towards the door.

“V!” July squealed.

“What now?” he asked stopping again.

“You’re still naked. Not that I’m not enjoying the view but it’s my view to enjoy and not everyone else’s,” she replied giving said view a squeeze.

Vince pulled her back down and pushed her into the door. His eyes were dark with desire.

“Is someone jealous of other people seeing me?” he asked in a teasing banter.

“Maybe,” she said with a saucy smirk.

“You’ll just have to cover me, make sure no one sees anything.”

“I think I can do that,” she answered before crushing her lips against his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Much later, July and Vince made their way down stairs. July wore her skirt from last night and borrowed one of Vince’s smaller shirts. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Everyone was in the living room and looked over at them with knowing looks on their face. July flushed and buried her head into Vince’s chest. Vince laughed before saying bye to everyone and then they headed over to her house.

“You hungry? We could go and get something or I could make something,” July asked as she opened her door and then entered. Vince’s reply died on his lips as a very naked Mike entered their sight.

“Oh my god!” July yelped and covered her eyes. Vince started cracking up laughing and July thumped him on the chest. “I don’t find this very funny.”

“July! Vince! What are you guys doing here?” Mike asked as he covered himself up with his hands.

“I live here you nitwit!” July said at his general direction.

“I know that but I didn’t figure you guys back for a while.”

“Mike, can we do this later, like when you have clothes on?” July asked.

“Why, you’ve already seen everything,” he commented carelessly.

Vince stopped laughing and snapped his eyes to July but she couldn’t see him because she still had her eyes covered.

“Mike, please, just go upstairs and continue whatever it was you were doing, in your room,” she said stressing the ‘in your room’ part.

“Okay, I’m going,” he said and July could hear him go up the stairs.

“And don’t parade around the house naked again!” she yelled up after him. She heard him laugh and mentally cursed at him. She waited a minute before taking her hands off her eyes and looking at Vince. He had that slightly pissed off look on his face.

“I thought you said there was nothing between you and Mike,” Vince said strained.

“There is nothing between us. There use to be, as in past tense. Not anymore. I thought we already had this talk. I told you that I think of Mike as my brother,” she said as anger began to grow in her.

“Yeah, a brother who you saw completely naked,” Vince shot back at her.

“So that just gives you a right to be mad? Because Mike and I use to date? I thought you understood that I want to be with you and no one else. I don’t use the word love lightly and I don’t sleep with someone unless I love them. I thought that last night meant something but I guess it didn’t if you still doubt my feelings for you,” July said as the tears started to gather in her eyes.

“July that’s not…” Vince started to say but never got to finish because July was racing up the stairs. He chased after her but her door slammed in his face and locked before he could open it.

“July, open the door,” he said knocking on it.

“Go away!” she shouted.

“No, come on, you know that’s not what I meant,” he yelled back but it didn’t matter because she had turned on music and it was too loud for her to hear him. He gave the door one last thump before leaning against it sliding to the floor.

“All right ass wipe, what did you do now?” Letty asked as she came out of Mike’s room.

“Screwed up,” Vince said with a sigh.

“Well, duh, that much is obvious, I meant what exactly did you do,” Letty said crouching next to him.

“I said something when Mike said July had already seen all of him,” Vince said as Mike came out, fully clothed this time, from his room.

“You said something, didn’t you?” he asked.

Vince lunged up and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “You did it on purpose didn’t you? You said it because you knew I would make a deal about it,” Vince said with hostility, his other hand clenching into a fist.

“No I didn’t. I didn’t really think it would matter. I swear, I didn’t say it to get you two in a fight or anything,” Mike said calmly.

“Whatever,” Vince growled before releasing Mike and shoving him away. He started to stop down the stairs.

“You go after him, I’ll talk to July,” Letty said giving him a quick kiss. Mike gave her a ‘do I have to?’ look and Letty crossed her arms, waiting for him to go.

“Fine, I’m going, but be prepared to call 911 when he beats me to a bloody pulp,” Mike said before heading downstairs. She heard the front door close and then turned back to July’s door, knocking on it.

“JJ! Open up, it’s me,” Letty yelled over the music. The music turned notably down and then July’s muffled voice sounded.

“Letty? Are you by yourself?”

“Yes it’s me, by myself, and I’m dressed,” she said and heard a half chuckle.

The door unlocked with a click and it slowly creaked open. Letty pushed her way in and closed the door behind her. July’s face was pale and tears were still streaming down her cheeks. Letty gave July a comforting hug before directing her towards the bed and sitting down. Letty patted July’s back while she cried and waited until her sobs faded away.

“Feel better?” Letty asked.

“No,” July said with a pout as she wiped her face.

“Let me explain something to you. Vince is insecure when it comes to girls. Yes, I know, it’s a shock but believe me it true, even if he’ll never admit it. See, Vince has liked Mia since high school. Did anything for her, all she had to do was ask and Vince would drop everything. Then Brian showed up and swept Mia off her feet and Vince was left alone. He figured he might have a chance when Brian ended up being a cop but was wrong when he showed back up asking for forgiveness. Now Vince can’t really hate Brian since he saved his life and that ticks him off more than anything. So you got to understand that Vince has always been the one to stick it out and then be left in the cold. So he’s a tad bit insecure when it comes to relationships,” Letty said and saw July’s eyes soften a bit.

“But that doesn’t give him an excuse to start crap every time something happens or gets said,” she said

“I didn’t say it was. Just give him some slack,” Letty finished with a sigh.

“He did seem sorry,” July muttered and continued her inner battle on what to do about Vince.

“You know you’re lucky that I like you enough to be doing this, because normally, I would have said ‘not my problem’ and walked away. Or get Mia to handle it.”

“Or maybe you’re scared I’ll kick you out,” July suggested, laughing as Letty’s eyes got wide.

“I didn’t think about that,” Letty said. “But you wouldn’t.”

“You sure about that?” July asked with a smirk.

“You couldn’t throw poor, innocent old me out into the streets could you?” Letty said, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Innocent? Yeah right,” July shot back sarcastically.

“Am too,” she argued back.

“Right, and the horns are just there to keep the halo straight?” July asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Damn right,” Letty said laughing before turning serious again. “So you think you can give V a chance?”

“Yeah…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yo, Vince! Wait up!” Mike yelled as he cut across the lawn.

“What do you want?” Vince asked in a low voice.

“Look, I really didn’t mean for anything to happen. I know that July is happy with you and I would never do anything to ruin that. She’s been through a lot and deserves to be happy,” Mike said looking down at the ground.

“So you were just having a bit of fun this morning?”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean anything by it. I mean, it’s true,” Mike saw the livid expression on Vince’s face and quickly continued, “But I don’t think of July like that anymore. Plus, I think I’ve found someone else,” Mike said with what he hoped was a friendly smile.

“You mean Letty?” Vince asked.

“Yeah, she’s something,” Mike answered with a wistful look.

“So you don’t want to get back with July?” Vince said, voicing the question that he had at the back of his mind.

“No, of course not. For one, she’s with you and I don’t take other guy’s girls, and two, there’s Letty, and three, I really don’t see me and July ever being like that again, even if I wanted to. She’s hooked on you pal,” Mike explained with a serious expression. “So if you hurt her, I will hunt you down and make you pay.”

“The same goes for Letty,” Vince said with a threat of his own.

They nodded their understanding at each other before turning away from one another.

“If you want to keep her you have to completely trust her. July’s won’t be with someone who doesn’t completely percent trust her, remember that,” Mike said before turning and going back into the house.

Vince turned back to go inside but stopped. He didn’t really want to go inside where everyone would ask what was wrong. He felt his keys in his pocket and pulled them out. A drive was what he needed right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tbc…

Awesome Vid!!!

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 05:57:57 GMT

So I normally don't do this, but this video totally and completely rocked my socks. Awesome, awesome Spuffy video to the perfect song with perfectly chosen clips. So check it out, and shady76 has made a post HERE so you can leave him feedback.

New Community: Spuffystillness...

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 05:14:19 GMT

The lovely vampkiss has made a new community: spuffystillness, a Spuffy icon challenge community. So those icon makers on my list, go join!

spuffystillness
spuffystillness
spuffystillness
spuffystillness

30 Misc Celeb Icons - Round 2

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 00:48:56 GMT

Thanks to those who replied to my last post and gave me links/suggestions.

Here's the next batch of misc celeb icons. Feel free to link me to some more pics or suggest anyone else you'd like to see. Some of these icons don't have text on them and if anyone would like their name on them, let me know. I'll be happy to customize it for you. :-)

30 Icons:
[4] James Marsters
[2] Jared Leto
[3] Jared Padalecki
[8] Jensen Ackles
[2] Julian McMahon
[3] Keifer Sutherland
[4] Keira Knightly
[4] Paul Walker

*All are shareable!

Teaser:

01) 02) 03) 04)

05) 06) 07) 08)

09) 10) 11) 12)

13) 14) 15) 16)

17) 18) 19) 20)

21) 22) 23) 24)

25) 26) 27) 28)

29) 30)

Graphic Resources in my user info

Feel free to pimp this post anywhere you'd like. :-)

Give Me Pretties...

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 01:40:55 GMT

Okay, so I'm doing that thing again, the one where I ask you to spam me with links/pics/suggestions to celebrities/musicians/whatever that you want iconed. Don't care what it is, guy or girl, or maybe just a pretty picture. I feel like ~~avoiding my homework~~ making pretty stuff. So get with the spamming!

Also, to those who were guessing in the Music Meme, I just posted the answers to the last of the songs. If anyone still wants any of them, let me know and I'll upload it for you.